Black Swan

The anticipation for this film was immense just like the wait in line before the movie. Any time I hear Darren Arronofsky is making something new I become instantly intrigued and have to get as many details about his new project until the day I go and see the film. Black Swan was no different. From the moment the cast was announced to the first time I saw the trailer I was dying to see this movie. (I'd like to voice my apologies now for all who had to put up with me hyping up this movie for the past few months).

Black Swan is a beautiful movie and im not just saying that because Natalie Portman and Mila Kuniz are super babes. This movie is a piece of art because of the outstanding performances by the entire cast. Portman does an incredible job releasing the "black swan" by starting off as a cute innocent girl then proceeds to transform into one of the most twisted female roles I've seen in a while. I'm not a huge fan of Mila Kuniz but she is spectacular in this film and really gets under your skin. Vincent Cassel's character is very dynamic, he keeps you thinking he is a pervert, leading our protagonist down the wrong path. BUT one must question if he actually was the only support and motivation that Portman's character had. Either way when I was watching this film there were many times the audience laughed at things he was saying and I'm not sure if it was what Arronosky was intending to be interpreted as comic relief.

Pervert or genius???

I really enjoyed the symbolism throughout the entire movie, from the emphasis on colours in the film to the incredible score, this movie made you feel alone,depressed, and psychotic without the use of dialogue. Arronofsky did an amazing job of using everyday life experiences to display the loneliness of Portman's character. For example; you know those moments when you're walking alone and you see someone you think you know and you don't want to make small talk with but there's no other way to avoid it and you're going to have to pass them. But by the time you get close to them you find out its a complete stranger!? Or how about the feeling of standing in front of a group of people and being able to hear one single person laughing at you? I thought these feelings were perfectly executed in a great Darren Arronofsky style.
Initially I thought I wouldn't really enjoy all the ballet in this movie but I actually enjoyed it and gave me a completely different view on the art of ballet. Now I believe all ballerinas are all bulimic, self mutilating, crazies hahaha. As I mentioned, before the score of this film was beautiful which probably made all the dancing a little more tolerable.

I guess I've gone on long enough about what I enjoyed about this movie. There are in fact a  few things I didn't really like. I found this movie very similar to the wrestler just instead of a hideous, worn out  grocer it was a super cute ballet dancer. They were both two characters that were alone and super depressed. Both digging themselves holes deeper than they could crawl out of and putting themselves in situations where they didn't belong. I was also expecting  a "Requiem For a Dream" style out of this movie, being extremely graphic and really intense. Although it wasn't as crazy as Requiem some parts of me are actually thanking Arronofsky, cause lets be honest Requiem got a little too intense for even the biggest weirdo to watch. Black Swan did have its moments don't get me wrong and I do remember my heart racing for like fifteen minutes straight out of complete discomfort.
I have a feeling people may like Black Swan a bit more...

This is something I would definitely watch again, this was going through my mind the entire time I watched it. To score this movie I would have to give it a big four out of five. I saw it on a Friday and it took me all weekend to gather my thoughts and actually get down to writing this. I have been telling everyone to go check the movie out since the first time I saw the trailer and I still encourage everyone to go see it.
Hope all is well

Due Date

AKA Planes, Trains, and Automobiles The Shitty Remake.

Warning: Reading this will make you think why would  I ever go see this movie in the first place.

When I first saw a trailer for this film I thought it looked so stupid and looked like Zach Galifinakis has completely given up on his talent and decided to be a type-cast buddy comedy goofball. Also I've never been a big Robert Downey Jr. fan so having him made this film less appealing for me. I don't understand the big deal over Robert Downey I just don't see this amazing performer that everyone has been seeing lately. Like is it really hard to play an ever wealthier version of yourself and put on an iron suit? Is it oscar worthy for a Caucasian to act black in a comedy? Honestly what is the big deal about Robert Downey? Either way back to the review so basically I saw a few more trailers had some laughs and thought you know what maybe I will go check this out typically I enjoy Todd Phillips movies and have always been a fan of Galifinakis. So right before I was about to buy my ticket I was thinking hmmmm maybe I should just go see Jackass again.... But snagged a ticket for Due Date and wasted a good hour and 30 mins of my life.

So if you've seen the trailer for this movie... well then you've seen every funny part and you know basically what the entire plot is more or less. Don't you hate when that happens you see a couple trailers and it totally kills the movie. Aren't the people who make these trailers thinking at all. Like hey why not leave a couple of jokes so the audience isn't expecting more laughs than we are offering. Or how about we don't reveal the entire plot in a two minute trailer. I think its soo silly and don't understand how they are completely clueless that they are ruining the film for the people they are selling it to. For example and I know I'm getting a little off track her but check out this trailer for The Black Swan which reveals nothing about the plot I know I know What in the fuck is going on in that but it looks soo bad ass and I'm soo going to see this movie. Sorry I just don't know what else to say about Due Date other than it was killed from the get go.

So I get the feeling you already know how I feel about the plot of this film... Stolen from a great movie with a great cast. If you haven't seen Planes , Trains, and Automobiles stop reading this and go buy it and if you see Due Date instead well what can I say.. you deserve it. I guess I could talk about the cast but you already know how I feel about RDJ. I really think he was an awful choice for this film sure hes been on SNL before but I don't think this guy has a funny bone left he acts the same as he does in Ironman and just bores the heck outta me. In terms of Galifinakis I feel bad for the guy when he does roles like this. He doesn't enjoy doing big budget films and I'm sure he doesn't enjoy playing the same character over and over again. But can you blame the guy a pay cheque is a pay cheque especially when it's a huge one. This is extremely type cast and just banking in on his amazing role in The Hangover. I wish he didn't do this movie but for the sake of this movie there was no one else to cast. Galifinakis is incredible at what he does and just looking at him can make anyone crack up.
What are you a girl or somethin'

So I'm going to give this one of my lowest scores ever a greasy 2 out of 5 and there's no way I want to watch this again. I would rather spend four hours watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles followed by The Hangover than have to sit through Due Date again. Also fun fact the moment I got out of this I looked at my friend and said we should've seen Jackass again. So take my advice if your going to buy a ticket to see Due Date... walk into another movie. haha. Oh and remember Robert Downey Jr. is not cool!

Jackass 3-D

                                                    PLEASE PUT ON YOUR 3-D GLASSES

First things first I am a huge sucker for anything 3-D. So when I heard the guys from Jackass were making a third movie and it was going to be in the 3-D....mega stoked. I must say though originally my thoughts were does a Jackass movie really need to be in 3-D? The answer is YES the element of 3-D makes the stunts soo much more in your face and way more repulsive. The entire cast has returned some with way new attitudes but they are still up to the same antics.

I still cant believe these guys still do all this crazy shit and no one has died yet. The stunts in this film range from painful to extremely vulgar. What do you expect really? Although the cast is the same and many of them are still just as wild and silly my favorite "Jackass" Steve-o has completely changed for the worse. I'm all for quitting drugs and alcohol but when you're a star in the Jackass series what the hell is the point? I admired Steve-o for how intense he was and how he always looked to push the limits in terms of substance abuse and pain. In this film the wind was taken out of my 'Steve-o sails immediately" during Steve-o's first stunt when he smiles with his brand new set of teeth and says "Why do I have to be Steve-o". Steve-o should not have a good set of teeth and should be glad hes Steve-o and about to get hit in the nuts for a bigger pay cheque than I will ever see. I know that I sound completely ridiculous I don't think all humans should be drunk addicted alcoholics but I'm talking Steve-o here who isn't a normal human being and put out videos that prove this. As well one of them is even titled PCP Saved My Life and in this film Steve-o just experiments with the drugs and its a great watch. I guess I'm being kinda hard on the dude but he changed. Although he is still gets me to chuckle a bit regardless of his huge life change.
Last time Steve-o was cool

So if you are starting to get the idea that the rest of the fellas settled down you are completely wrong where Steve-o lacks he just makes way for others to shine. Steve-o's wildboy partner Chris Pontius is absolutely hilarious he seems to be the most energetic and always in the finest fashions. Bam Margera who I haven't been too fond of was a riot in the third film and shows no signs of settling down. Wee-man is always a treat and uses his size for laughs and it always kills. Take this as a spoiler if you may but there are some incredible midget gags in this film which is making it hard to type this just thinking about some of the stuff. Dave Englund is always a treat and shows that he still has the same bowel movements and still a whinny baby. Preston is very similar to Wee-man where his size makes for all the laughs and the combination of huge (Preston) and tiny (Wee-man) make for incredible comedy. Knoxville the King Jackass still reigns supreme. Still quick-witted and loves getting hit by bulls also shows no signs of age or slowing down.


Some people think the Jackass faucet has run dry but I think its still alive,hilarious, and still original. Sure some of the poo gags and Knoxville getting run over by bulls has been seen before but I don't know about you but I could see people get run over by bulls over and over. Also its not even the stunt usually that wins me over its the dumb nonsense coming from these characters mouths that really get me laughing. There are a few repeat stunts with a bit of a spin on them. For example they bring back the seniors and I won't tell you any more but Bad Grandpa might be of the better skits in the film. Some more of the most memorable stunts from this film are Electric Avenue where they race through an obstacle course of tazers and Lambo Tooth Pull where one characters tooth is pulled from a speeding Lambo with Bam in the driver seat. There are sooo many more great skits that make this film excellent for repeat watches just like Jackass 1 and 2. You won't be able to remember all of them after the first viewing because there is soo much and lots to easily forget.
Invisible Man

Jackass is great and I'm waiting for a forth with crossed fingers. I would give this movie a 4 out of 5 I really loved how it was in 3-D it threw the viewer right in the middle of the stunt. All the characters are hilarious and haven't changed... except for some mentioned above. They still have not lost their touch and I think there's still enough gas left in the Jackass tank to fuel another movie. This movie has to been seen in theatres so you can enjoy the 3-D experience like I'm not kidding this blows Avatar right out of the water for the best use of 3-D. I would 100% watch this movie again and again its hilarious.

P.S. Sorry Steve-o but you changed

Paranormal Activity 2

If it's not broke don't fix it.

This is totally the case for Paranormal Activity 2 which is more or less a carbon copy of the original but still adds so much to make it stand out on its own. Just like when I saw the original I was getting super nervous to watch this expecting it to be the scariest thing ever. Although it didn't reach up to scariest ever it still had my blood pumping and thoughts racing. I really enjoyed this movie a lot more than I originally thought mainly because it did something most sequels don't accomplish by giving it's predecessor a run for it's money.
Also the way the film was marketed gave it a total sequel feel but what caught me off guard was this movie was a combination of prequel and sequel. I totally had no idea but loved the idea of getting a little more into the characters than compared to the original which just threw you right into the story. With this film being majority prequel it actually makes the original a little bit better and defiantly makes me want to watch it again.
When I said "if it's not broke don't fix it" it was the best line I could think of to describe the formula used for the paranormal activity series. This movie does it all for a horror fan as soon as night falls you can feel your heart pounding  and looking around the theatre you know you're not alone. Also you want to grasp the entire scene and atmosphere so your eyes will dart across the screen looking for the smallest detail to move or fall off a shelf. As soon as the scene returns to daytime you immediately calm down and can catch your breath until the next nightfall.
The addition of a child and dog just make this movie so creepier. Cause lets be serious what's scarier than a BABY! He adds so much to the movie and was an awesome baby actor. I know sounds weird but believe me I know baby actors haha. The dog adds some intensity because like the viewer he notices every small sound or movement and wants to immediately investigate regardless of how terrifying it may be. Similar to the viewer regardless of how scared you are you still cant take your eyes away because you want to know what will happen next.

Paranormal Activity 2 does an excellent job of keeping you at the edge of your seat. I would give the movie a 3.5. I know it sounds like I'm raving about it but in the end its just the first one all over again. I really thought the whole prequel sequel thing was a great idea but it still didn't change the movie enough to give it any better of a review. I would totally recommend seeing this in theatres mainly because the sound adds so much to the film and watching other people get freaked out is always a blast. Although I'm sure this film has many repeat watches in it such as trying to watch it home alone... betcha can't!

Night of the Living Dead (1990).

"They're coming to get you, Barbara."

So I picked this up the other day all kinds of excited that I was going to be watching the original George A. Romero classic zombie flick. Little did I know special effects legend Tom Savini remade the movie in the early 90's. The reason I thought it was the original was because the cover had George's name on it and nothing about Savini. Weird. So this lead me to believe "ok here comes another shitty 90's remake." I'm not really into black and white movies but still have been aching to see the original version of this film but I thought I'll just suck it up and watch this and hey its in colour too!
Sweet spectacles and hair-doos steal the show.

All directorial disappointment aside this movie was actually pretty rad. Although I have yet to see the original I've heard this stays fairly true to its predecessor. With lots of zombie action right off the bat it takes you on a very common zombie eating roller-coaster. This movie does a great job displaying Savini's incredible make-up and effect skills. The zombies look great and some of the kills are classic. Also another thing this movie did for me was just amp me up even more to see the original. I would suggest zombie fans everywhere check this out even as background noise because it's not something you have to devote all your focus too. haha sorry Savini! The film is a remake of a classic so it's kind of hard to screw up with a much larger budget and amped up effects + colour! I would give this movie a 3 out of 5 and probably watch it again. So I do have some good stuff to say!
Warning: Don't be fooled by this cover!!

The Machinist.

Crazy old Christian Bale killing himself to make a good movie. Another movie I've heard so much about but never took the time to sit back and watch. If you were unaware of Christian Bale before he put on the bat suit this cat was starring in some awesome roles and basically putting his health and mind at risk to create these bizarre unforgettable characters. Before we go any further if you haven't seen Mr. Bale in American Psycho stop reading this silly nonsense and go check that out right now!
I will never listen to Huey Lewis and The News the same.

Well enough about how incredible American Psycho  is The Machinist is a predictable mind-bender if that makes any sense at all. While I was watching it I got a serious "Fight Club" feeling and just couldn't believe anything in the main character's life was actually real. Ok I guess I forgot to tell you Christian Bale plays a sleep deprived weirdo who works at some kind of metal foundry of some sort. Long story short some bad things start happening no one listens to Bale just think hes all kinds of crazy and weird and yeah you guess it... A big twist at the end! So obviously from the sounds of it I don't sound like I enjoyed this too much but I did what it lacked in plot it totally made up by the incredible performance and method acting courtesy of Christian Bale. Apparently he lost 63 pounds to play this part and he just looks like a skeleton. Eyes bulging and skin barely stretching over his decrepit looking body, Christian Bale resembles a starving insomniac to a "T".
Bruce Wayne!

Overall this is a rather entertaining flick with some unique ideas. As I was saying earlier its truly Bale's performance that really makes this worth watching. So to give this movie a rating out of 5 I've gotta make an exception and give it two ratings. I know crazy! But you'll understand. I am going to give it a 3.5 out of 5 for what it is. Although I'm going to give it a 2 out of 5 if it didn't have Christian Bale in it hahaha. I don't even consider myself a big fan of his especially recently but reading this over I sound like I'm in love. He's done some good stuff and this is one of his better performances. Also fun fact about this role was he did this right before he made Batman Begins.
It doesn't look like he got any taller??


Heard all kinds of buzz around this French horror movie so the other day while cruising the library of Blockbuster Video it literally jumped off the shelf. You know those times when your in Blockbuster for way too long and you think all hope is gone and your just about to rent Caddyshack for the 20th time? Well I was having one of those days till Martyrs caught my attention and the light went on in my head "Hey, totally heard crazy things about this" and grabbed it instantly.
That's just what it looked like except had a crazy warning on the top about violence and disturbing scenes.
Hookey jeeze!

If you haven't heard of this movie.... Go rent it or buy it or download it just whatever you do to watch movies. It is a horror flick but not your typical cheese horror movie this has soo much substance and really leaves you thinking all kinds of weird stuff by the end of it. I mentioned that "violence warning" on the cover and this film definitely deserves it. Many graphic moments and it doesn't normally happen to me but even hours after watching this movie still made my stomach turn. If you can push through all the madness this movie offers you'll be impressed with the way they take it to the conclusion. Fairly fast paced and gets you hooked from the opener martyrs is for sure something I would watch again... Well haha maybe just talk about it again because some of the scenes were tough to watch. Although while I was watching it I was at the edge of my seat wondering what was coming up next.
I know... what the fuck??? WHAT THE FUCK!?

Great movie for anyone who can watch some graphic, abusive, nauseating, horrific,disturbing, repulsive, weird, displays of torture and revenge. And well if that's not really your cup of tea fast forward the first hour and twenty minutes and watch the sweet ending to this flick. haha. Sooooo rating time rating time out of 5 I am giving this movie a big 4. This just gave me so much I look for especially in a horror movie, it kept me guessing, made me nervous, grossed me out, and had a stellar finish. I don't normally expect horror movies to have such deep stories but this just still has me thinking days after viewing. Check it out!

"Martyrs are exceptional people. They survive pain, they survive total deprivation. They bear all the sins of the earth. They give themselves up. They transcend themselves... they are transfigured."

*Strange fact I watched this and Hellraiser the same day then found out the person who made Martyrs was slated to do a remake of Hellraiser... That is neat!


"What's your pleasure, sir?"

A horror movie that stands on its own with a classic plot and unforgettable characters. I don't know why but I avoided watching this for so long but always was curious what Pinheads deal was. Although he seems like an iconic horror villain he definitely isn't the most evil character in Hellraiser but I guess that's the case for most horror series starters.

Look how crazy that guy looks! And hes not even the villain? Totally caught me off guard when this guy was hardly in the movie. Regardless of what I imagined this movie to be about it was still pretty awesome. Made in 87' it totally rocked some wild looking effects and a pretty intense story line. There is a lot to enjoy in this movie from its wild chain torture scenes to a wild puzzle box that holds incredible power. Would recommend this to any horror fan cause it still remains as a ground breaking film for its genre.

"Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some. Angels to others."
I don't know you figure it out!

I guess this is the part where you give a movie a rating out of 5 or something and I would have to give Hellraiser a solid 3 out of 5 mainly because I was getting into it thinking that Pinhead character was going to tear everyone apart when all he really did was make me confused whether he was even that bad. Like I said I don't know soooo you should watch it and see what I mean.